At some point, GPU makers seemingly made the decision that they wanted to come across as serious and grown-up. I get that people want their gaming hobby to be taken seriously, but I want my silly cards back.

GPU Box Art Was the Bomb

The first ever graphics card I bought was the Voodoo 3 2000 AGP, and you had better believe this box art turned my head in the store when I finally scraped my pennies together for it.

I guess it makes sense for a time when people walked into a physical store to buy computer hardware. There was no online shopping, but every time I passed a computer shop in the mall, the GPU boxes would catch my eye. Card makers like XFX in particular had some frankly sick artwork.

It wasn’t just bold colors or cool dogs either, as you might expect, the marketing departments of the card makers weren’t shy about slapping attractive CG ladies on the boxes in order to make you pick their brand of card over another. These were not boxes you threw away, you kept them on display!

The Actual GPUs Followed Through With Wacky Designs

The box art was a mere prelude, because you could be almost certain that some version of that box art would make it onto the card itself. Back then, GPU coolers weren’t quite as massive and total card enclosures weren’t yet common, so you’d mostly get a sticker on top of the fan shroud with a variant of the box art. While PC cases with window panels were already popular, in a tower case you wouldn’t see the art sadly, but it was very cool that it was there!

Silly, Fun GPU Names Were the Norm

While this tradition hasn’t completely gone away, the practice of giving your graphics card a cringey or edgy name was pretty widespread at one point, and I absolutely loved it. I always wanted to own an MSI Twin Frozr, but today I might have to settle for an XFX THICC III Ultra. MSI Lightning and Hawk​​​​​​​​​​​​​​, Inno3D iChill HerculeZ​​​​​​​, Club3D Joker, and Leadtek WinFast are all names that carry heavy nostalgia for me.

Some GPU Makers Are Keeping the Dream Alive

While the mainstream GPU card makers are obsessed with chrome, carbon, RGB, and making their GPUs look like the rear of a Ferrari, there are still some card makers that keep the spirit of silly and fun computer hardware alive. A notable example is Yeston, who makes cards with bright, light, and pastel colors. It also offers cards with GPU shrouds that look like cats, and cards that have anime artwork on them. Notably, they’ve designed it so you can clearly see the art correctly when the card is installed in a tower case.

​​​​​​​Sometimes, big card makers also get in on the action. ASUS, for example, did a Neon Genesis Evangelion crossover, and all I can say is thank goodness I could not afford any of it!

Gigabyte is also doing its part to keep that old cyber CG aesthetic going on its box art, but could this card look any less interesting?

As much as I love anime-themed hardware (and I really do), I still yearn for the chunky CG characters, whether they look cool or cursed. There really isn’t that much to separate modern board-partners from each other anymore, other than price, so focusing on aesthetics is sensible. It’s just that the aesthetics are generally faux supercar or unicorn vomit, and honestly there should be a third option.